BLUESTAR

2012-02-01T01:18:00.001+08:00

I'm getting tired of trying. Which is pretty good..I think.

2012-01-26T22:41:00.001+08:00

I really like you alot mehmeh!^^ idk why either. But <33333

(Forgive me since it's my birthday today)

2012-01-21T19:44:00.001+08:00

It's so amazing how I can like someone so much. I didn't know I could do that. But I will try to stop. Try my best to like you as a friend so that you won't feel awkward and be affected by all the gossips. I will try; even though it seems like it is something almost impossible to achieve.

2012-01-09T22:46:00.001+08:00

I am not the person you claim that I am. I'm not. Idk how to prove it. But you don't know me enough. You don't know how I feel.
Maybe I should stop being so sensitive. Or maybe you could stop being so mean.
Actually I think you may be merely joking. But idk. I can't tell when you're joking and when you're not. I'm just too stupid.

2011-12-26T20:58:00.002+08:00

Some zilian photos I took today~
But no matter what, and even if I manage to look my best, 我猜始终还是配不上你。

Words that can't be said

2011-12-16T16:44:00.002+08:00

If only I didn't like you this much~

2011-07-22T23:03:00.002+08:00

You + Me = Never

Hehe. Just something random. Meow.
Yeap results came back.
Time to face the music.
Meow.
Put a brave front in front of everyone else.
I was literally forcing myself to smile today.
And when no one was looking; I teared.
I'm me.
Kinda getting used to being alone now.
Not sharing with anyone.
Its better this way.
People dont have to worry about me.
But still its so difficult.
It's torturing.
I really need hugs now.
I yearn for them so badly.

2011-07-15T21:54:00.002+08:00

Finally got a taste of senior high life after getting back my CTs results.
Its like getting numb to all the failing and bad grades.
Placing a mask to hide my true feelings of me feeling like the dumbest person on earth.
Though I know really well how much effort went into them.
I deserve these results and I can say life's quite fair at times.
So I've learnt the hard way and I'm trying my best to mug hard this time.
But its so hard with all the temptations around.
Really wish someone could save me now and be my study mate.

On another note I'm having fun in school at times GLing retarded ppl around me in my life.^^
hehe. I must admit I really love life at times. Its a love-hate relationship.
Anw, I really miss talking to someone. So damn much. But not like you know/care.
Just walk pass me and my life.
And I'll just place a mask and hide like a chicken again.
The more I want something, the more I avoid them.
Thats one thing I figured out about myself.

2011-06-01T23:02:00.000+08:00

Imma sad little girl.
Feeling really sad and lost now.
I have no idea what to do.
No motivation whatsoever.
I've lost my direction in life. Or no. Its just that I suddenly realised I didnt have one to begin with. No where to go to. No goals. No aims.
I've just been living my life rotting everyday. Going with the flow. Trying to please everyone that I eventually forgot about myself.
Now that I realised that this is MY life. Its too late. I've let people take control of it. I have to restart everything. And most of all, I have wasted 17 years of my life.

There's no one who will truly understand.
No one who is interested.
No one who actually bothers at all.
There is no one, absolutely no one to talk to.
And my heart is breaking.
Have I lived all these years for nothing?
I didnt achieve anything great.
And I foresee if i continue living like this.
I wont achieve anything at all.

I'm beginning to fear life.
I'm a coward.
I dont wanna take what life gives to me.
Why should I?
When I know there would be a time that I am sure to be hurt and sad in the future.
Why should I look forward to that?
I wonder.

God please do help me find the right path.

2011-04-08T20:46:00.005+08:00

Life's so amazing.

One moment you're crying your heart out over something and the next you can be laughing and wondering why you cried over such a small matter.

But no matter how I feel next time I'm feeling really low now.

And somehow I dont know how to tell anyone around me. So I have to resort to venting everything here.

Really I dont know what has becomed of me these days. I've become so weak and confused all the time. Where is the Iris a few years ago? I can be filled with determination and passion for a moment and the very next I would give it all up. Why?

Maybe its because I'm scared? Scared of losing a memory so dear and impt to me?

There was/is always a special place in my heart for netball somehow.

Cause that was the time I was filled with confidence, overcomed so many fears and even achieved some success.

Now? Ha. Because of this super fear growing in my heart, I cant play well, cant shoot well and even quit netball.

Actually maybe if I persuaded my parents a little harder. If I could study a little harder. If I was a little smarter. Maybe, maybe I wont be in this position now.

I dont know how to face the ppl in netball.><

But now all I know is that I'm really tired and really cant cope with my work load anymore.

I'm so lost and confused.

Somehow I think my confidence level is like close to zero now.

I stutter when I talk to strangers.

I don't even dare to look into the eyes of people I talk to.[unless you're close to me]

I dont want to get too close to the ppl I like cause I know I'm a person who will make them sad.

I give up before trying.

I really need a listening ear to simply listen to my whinings.

But I really dont want to irritate or disappoint those ppl I like.

I really want the ppl I like to be happy.

Gahhhhhhhhhh. This is so fustrating!!!):

But I'm sure all this will be over soon.

I'm sure I would regret all the decisions I make now.

Cause I always do. All I do is regret and whine and not do anything about it.

But for now, I will just take it that I have no other choice.

For now, I will just take a little break.

For now. & then I will change for the better.

I hope it would be pretty soon.

I hope I will have the motivation to do so then.

I cross my fingers and toes. & really really hope with all my heart.

2010-11-21T21:29:00.002+08:00

This post was supposed to be on the happy blog. But nope.
I feel damn dumb and stupid now. And it doesnt help that im sick.
Im pissed with myself for being so dumb. Gosh. Time to wake up.
Just came back from my shanghai tour. I must say its quite awesome.If i wasnt dumb.
I kinda rode a horse there..though idk if its counted but hee. First time.

虽然只是短短的几天，但是你在我眼前所做的一切会深深印在我的心坎上使我念念不忘。虽然你可能会认为我很傻但这是我无法控制的。我相信有一天我会从自己的梦中醒起，发现自己是多么地傻。我们有缘再见吧！

2010-10-14T23:10:00.002+08:00

When you wonder why someone keeps looking at you,
You gotta remember that you keep looking at that person too.
If not, how would you know?

Gahhhhh. Feeling really down today. Idk why.):
So im back posting in this blog which nobody reads. LOL. But thats the good point.
Seriously I cant stand myself.
I hate how I try so hard to achieve something and end up achieving nothing at all. I hate how I gotta bottle everything up and act like nothing's wrong. I hate how I wanna be someone else and am ashamed to be me. I hate how I want something so much but do nothing to get it. I hate how I act. I hate how I feel about myself; so pathetic.
Life has no meaning sometimes. I really wanna run away from everything now. Hide in someplace where there's nobody and cry aloud.
Im just so tired, so sad from everything.

2010-09-02T22:44:00.001+08:00

I am just me.
& You are the awesome you.
I wonder if this means anything.

2010-09-01T00:16:00.001+08:00

Today's supposed to be a happy day.
But.
Things happen.
At the end of the day.
And everything just gets screwed up.
And today became a sad day.

If only;

2010-08-07T23:08:00.001+08:00

I need a slap from you to wake up.
Not anyone else, but you.

2010-07-30T23:50:00.001+08:00

I think i can finally say i am able to stop now.:D
You've got outta my mind!!!:D
yes. its over. all this ridiculous stuff.
Happy much.:)

2010-07-24T23:15:00.004+08:00

You just typed a sentence,
and i replied with a paragraph.
Maybe you started the conversation, but i always end it, with no replies from you.
Its so obvious,
I cant believe im so dumb
to actually pay attention to every single word
when you probably dont even bother about.
Maybe it was a joke; maybe you were just playing around.
But did you ever know; that those words made my heart beat a thousand times faster?
I must stop this.
I will, one day.
I guess.
No, i will; I have to..no?

2010-05-13T22:26:00.002+08:00

Dear all,

I am really sorry for everything that I have done recently,
I am trying very hard to change for the better. :D
So just bare with me a little more and help me change!

2010-05-11T23:09:00.003+08:00

Maybe if you have the courage,
maybe if you are talking about me,
maybe if you hate me,

Just tell me straight and dont go round in circles.

If it is not about me, kindly tell me that it is not.

Cause
1. I cant really take hints. Yes I'm slow/dumb wtv.
2. I dont really like people talking behind my back.
3. I am paranoid.

2009-06-26T21:03:00.003+08:00

Its like my world's empty.
Its like I'm invisible.
When people you see simply walk pass you like you're nothing. People who are friends or not.
When people who seemed so familiar in your memory and yet seem like total strangers when they see you.
Its like everything only existed in your memory. Their's, nothing at all.
It feels like im nothing. Nothing to nobody; to anybody; to everybody.

When people who once said they would be there when you're sad suddenly ate all their words back.
When you see people appear on the computer screen in front of you, who are just one click away, people whom once you could say anything to, suddenly seem unclickable; seem so far away.
Its like seeing the people who you thought you could share your whole life-worth of sorrow and joy suddenly forgot all about you.
Its like seeing all your friends who are so familiar, simply change into strangers with known names.
Names whom you once put your hope and trust on. Now, you dont even dare to talk to anyone of them.

Its like stabbing your own heart times and times again seeing the people you love get hurt and yet there's nothing you can do about it; when sometimes you feel that you are even the cause of it.
Its like seeing the person who you look up to; the person whom you thought were so strong; the person you call mum, go crashing down in front of you; crying. And it was all because you were born.
When you face anything more than this, you lose your confidence. The confidence to even look into people's eyes as they walk pass you. The confidence to speak to your friends. The confidence to have fun with the people around you. Cause you're afraid; scared; terrified, that after you feel happy, you would feel this devastating feeling over and over again.

2009-06-07T22:30:00.001+08:00

I've gotta change; I'm gonna change.
I can't be the bitch I am now. I cant.
I gotta change my attitude and control myself.

2009-05-19T21:57:00.000+08:00

Im such a lousy daughter.

2009-05-15T22:43:00.003+08:00

I've lost it. Why am I so stupid?
Its like just a nightmare and i just woke up; too late.
Its too late now. I woke up too late.

2009-05-05T22:08:00.002+08:00

I give up. This world's just going weird for me.
I shall not bother to think so much anymore. Since it wont make any difference or help anything. It would only cause me more headache.
Is it even worth all this effort? To try so hard. To work so hard. And end up, it turns out exactly the opposite of what you wanted it to be.
I guess it aint worth it. I give up. I shall just be some empty person doing whats in front of me. Doing what ppl wants me to do. Thats all.
I shall'nt care anymore.

2009-05-04T21:22:00.001+08:00

It just seems so easy to hate people now.
But just too bad. Cause you're such a bitchhhhhhh.

2009-05-03T22:10:00.000+08:00

It hurts. Badly. But no one's here to save me.

2009-04-22T22:42:00.003+08:00

Closing up; Sealing up. Running away. Hiding. Shutting up.
No more opening up to anyone. Not when there's no one to even open up to. Not when no one cares. Not when it hurts like this every night; over and over again. Causing sleepless nights and sore eyes. Not when i lost my way like this and i dont even know who i am. Thats it. No more.
Gonna hide. Hide these feelings. Till im all alone again at night.
Bye world.

2009-04-17T22:02:00.002+08:00

Pain Tired Hurt Sad Emo Pissed Crashed Beaten Lost Damned Coward Loser Freak Dumb Bitch Crying Sorry Weak Depressed Dying Alone Sucker Stupid Afraid Lousy Useless Crap Idiot Selfish -ME

Im really tired now. Tired of getting back this feeling over and over again. There's no one out there to talk to. No one out there to help me. Its killing me. I dont know why im like that. I dont know what to do. I wanna change badly. To be better. To be smarter. To be less selfish. but i cant. I suck. I feel like dying once again.

2008-07-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

HELLO(:
wheeeeeeee. im currently decided to study like a good little girl. So yeah.
I guess it would be quite some while before i start posting again.. mmm.
But the next post would be longgggggggg k. it would be a long one. lols.
But for now. nothing. rar.><
sorry! Lols.
-enjoy the new song yeah!(:

2008-07-11T22:59:00.005+08:00

Its been a long time since I blogged here. So I guess lesser ppl would come here now? which might be good for me i guess?

I have been thinking about what was life all about this few days.

I mean like one moment you are doing something and the next moment you would be wondering why you did that thing.

Everything passes so quickly and stuff so we are we actually doing them for when we actually know that it would be a part of our past?

I don't know. Maybe God made it that way for us to have more courage to do the things that we think is right or the things that we wanna do, since life is so precious and time passes so quickly.

Time.. Its like it takes everything away from you somehow.

I realised something. That time makes many exchanges in life.

As time goes by,

It exchanges ignorance and innocence with childhood and pure happiness.

As time goes by,

It exchanges childhood and pure happiness with realization and youth.

As time goes by,

It exchanges realization and youth with power and responsibilities.

As time goes by,

It exchanges power and responsibilities with troubles and worries.

As time goes by,

It exchanges troubles and worries with knowledge and wisdom.

As time goes by,

It exchanges everything with memories and enternal life in Heaven.

See! There's like so many exchanges in our lives. Rar. K i shall stop here.(:

[I really don't know what I really want. Its like i really don't see the point get it. But yet i cant let go. I don't know why. Maybe its like all the past experiences i had that taught me a lesson and made me like that. Made me like such a weakling not to follow what i want anymore. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. And im obviously seriously confused. And when im confused im aint really happy..
- I wish upon a shooting star for happiness. Which i hope I could one day get it. I dont want money. I only seek for happiness. ~ ]

2008-06-17T23:43:00.003+08:00

HEYYYYYYYYYYY.(:
hahaha. just to let ppl here know. i have another blog now!(:
lalalala. its a happy blog! with no emo posts at all(:
cuz yeah..some ppl dont like emo stuff..and my whinning and all. so just go to my happy blog lor.(:
hahaha. but no. im not abandoning this crazy blog k. nonono!
so dont abandon here too pleaseeeeeeee.=(
i will post happy stuff here too luh. hahaha.
just that some glimps of emoness can be found while the happy blog none at all. wadever.(:
hahahaha. lalala.
im going con camp soon.(: so i may not be able to blog for some time yeah. but ohh pleaseeee. keep the tagboard alive k.(: at both blogs.[:
hahahaha.
yuppppps.(:
blah. here's my happy blog http://imjustsohappy.blogspot.com

2008-06-13T23:19:00.001+08:00

lols. I dont know why I'm blogging but its friday the 13th! so i gotta bloggggggg.(:
Its so cool wad. my very first friday the 13th blog post.(:
yayyyyyyyyyy. Hello. hahahahahaha. zomg.
im crapping. im like blogging and writing crap because i wanna blog on friday the 13th but i dont even have the blogging mood. blah blah blah.
Shall try to post another time bah(:
Haaaaaa.(:

2008-06-08T12:42:00.002+08:00

100 Question quiz. From jessie[the bunny.(:]

1. What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?

Lols. I forgot who was the last person who called me. mmm..online friends bah?

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?

Nah. Almost never unless im forced to do so.(:

3. What happened at 10am today?

I was still in lala-land(:

4. When did you last cry?

Mmm..lets see..was it yesturday? maybe bah.

5.What is you favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?

Bread? dunno.

6. What do you want in your life right now?

Happiness.(: [cause rite, when there is happiness there cant be sadness wad. so no sadness = no hw, no probs, no worries, no stress, no tuition and blah blah blah.(:]

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put on your hood?

Usually i would just walk in the rain and get wet.

8. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?

My 3 doggy soft toys.(: -wad luh. im childish cannot meh.

9. What bottom are you wearing now?

Shorts lo.(:

10. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?

Private stuff luh. like i would say here. =.=

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?

Why would i do that. the more simply the better wad? i thought?=/

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?

Mmm..nah.

13. wad was the last movie you caught?

Narnia! its awesome.(:

14. What are you proud of?

Hypermates, superheros, sotong, gd frens.(:

15. What does the oldest text msg in your inbox say?"

Private also. hahahaha.(:

16. What's was the last song you sang out loud?

erm..i forgot. but i just went church. so its some hyms

17. Do you have any nicknames?

Alot bah.

18. What does your last received msg say?

Private luh. wth.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?

Morning rather. i slept at 3am.(:

20. Are you currently happy?

If i said i was and u believe it. U're an idiot.(:

21. Who gives you best advice?What kind of advice?

No one. If not i wont be so unhappy for so long rite. Bodoh.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?

Nah. eeyer. =/ plus its fattening luh. .__.

23. Who did you talk to on the phone last night?

Many ppl.

24. Is anything bugging you right now?

The outcome of not finishing hw. mmm. alot of things.(:

25. What/who was the last thing/person that made you laugh?

Some tv show or something?

26. Do you wear toe socks?

their cute.(: but nahh.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?

No caller id. so how i know. hahaha.

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?

D.u.h.

29. What annoys you most in a person?

Backstab, betrayer, ap, accuser, bitchness, etc etc. Choose one. lols.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Dare not have already.

31. Have you ever done cociane?

Nah.

32. What is the colour of your room?

PINK.(: wad luh. girl mah(:

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billlion dollars?

Thou shall not kill.

34. Do you believe in the saying "talk in cheap"?

wth is that.

35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?

Me.

36. Who was the last person who hugged you?

One of the hypermates bah. when im low low low low low. <3

37. Who was the last person you kissed?

Private.

38. Do you have a life?

Im a no lifer doing this quiz.

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didnt?

acters? how i know.

40. What's the reason behind your profile song?

dunno.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dreams?

Cant rememeber. lols.

42. Last time u smiled?

erm..today.

43. Have you changed this yr?
i think so. quite alot bah. lols. ask ppl who know me.

44. What are you listening to right now?
parents calling me to eat. lols.

45. Are you talking to someone while you're doing this?
on msn? yeah.

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
God gave you eyes. you gotta use it.

47. Is there a quote you live by?
nah.

48. Do you want someone you cant have?
Duh.

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
Piano luh. just only lor.

50. What was the worst idea you had in the week?
that i should just die.

51. What were you doing last night at 11pm?
using lappy?

52. Are you happy with your love life now?
obviously not. =.=

53. What song describes your love life?
Low.
54. does the person know that you like him/her?
No?

55. Who always makes you laugh?
Hypermates, superheros, sotong, jj, retards, friends luh.(:

56. do you speak other language other than english?

chinese, hokkien. blah blah blah.

57. are you blond?

If im not me.

58. What's your middle name?

Wan lin

59. What are you doing tomorrow?

touring m'sia?

60. What do you think you are like?
Dont know.

61. Who will you choose to die with?

Myself? If i want my love ones to die with me, no wait. if i love them i dont even want them to die right.

62. Where have you been today?
My house?

63. What game do you play often?
Dont know.

64. Who are you missing rite now?
Many many ppl. =(

65. If you have to choose between friends and love, which will you choose?
Friends. somehow i lost trust in love. wait til someone manage to gain the trust then maybe bah.

66. What are you doing right now?

Stopid question. nvm. i shall answer. Im watching 'what happens in las vegas', typing, answering this question, talking on msn, waiting for sms, breathing. I shall stop here. lols.

67. Which primary school are you from?

ST HILDAS.(: awesome school.

68. Name 3 colours that you like.
Woah. Hard leh. ><>
69. What emoticon do you like to show?
[: or (: lo.

70. What is life to you?
Life is what im going through now lo. no need to list out in poetic form rite. lols.

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Shut up, keep in my heart, and emo. or cry. or try to find ppl to talk to. but usually cant find one luh.

72. Who did you last chat with in msn today?
I'm still talking to erm..quite afew ppl?

73. Who do you admire the most?
God.

74. Which month are you born in?
January.(:

75. How are you feeling right now?
Sian-ded.

76. What is the time now?
3.54pm.

77. Where are you now?

In my room.

78. What colour did you use to dye your hair?
dark reddish brown?

79. Why are you doing this test?

Cuz im a no lifer and im bo liao.(:

80. What do you do when you're moody?
Cry, emo, erm..____, find ppl to talk to. blah.

81. At what age do you plan to get married?
When im ready.(:

82. Who is more important to you now? boyfren/frens?
Friends.(: duh.

83.Do you think you have enough confidence?
Is hating myself having confidence?

84. Who is the person you trust most?

God

85. will you love your crush/bf forever?
Depends. Maybe. i never now.

86. If you ever have a dream come true, what would it be?
Everyone to be happy always.(:

87. What is your goal for this yr?
to be really truely happy.

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
Currently..i dont think so.

89. What feeling do you love most?
Happiness.(:

90. do you really think its global warming now?
I think so.=/

91. What feeling to you hate the most?
Sadness, being lonely, hate, jealousy. choose one.(:

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
As i cherish everything.

93. Do you believe in god?
Yes.

94. Who cares for you the most?
U gotta ask that person.(:

95. What do you think is the most important thing in life?
My love ones.

96. What'll you bring to a fight?
Handphone and some weapon. to call for help and defend myself.(:

97. What have you regretted in your whole life?
Not treasuring at times, not thinking before what i do at times, etc.

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?

Lonely, sad. the end. =/

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
Give him a slap, break, and make sure he breaks with his other gf too.

100! love with a gurantee of heartbreak, or nvr to be loved at all?
Zomg. thats damn hard. both aint good. =/

THE END[:

10 ppl to pass the quiz to. [muhahaha. time to sabo.(:]

-JJ.[:

-Ting wei.[:

-Iris lim.[:

-Laura lim.[:

-Chantalle.[:

-Saby.[:

-Sofi[:

-Celeste.[:

-Jia lat.[:

-Youuuuuuuuuuuuuu.[:

2008-05-31T22:02:00.002+08:00

Oh dont you mind,
For Im out of mind.
Drip drop
Drip drop
The torture of pain,
causing the heart to faint.

Oh dont you mind,
For Im out of mind.
Its just the dripping of tears.
Its just the dripping of blood.

Oh dont you mind,
For Im out of mind.
Tick tock
Tick tock
Time flew by.
But sadness and pain just wouldnt say bye.

Oh dont you mind,
For Im out of mind.
It just fourteen years of sadness.
Its just fourteen years of pain.

So, my friend, Dont you mind,
For Im definitely out of mind.

Hahaha. Just felt like writing a poem[:

Gahh. Let me tell you ppl. Hypeeeermates are definitely the best. They're always there whenever im sad to give me a hug and make me smile. x33 So, Chantalle, Sabrina, Sofina, ily.(:

Yupps. So today went for some nyt shoot at yishun safra. I kinda improved but it doesnt really matter. cuz the reason why i like my cca is because of the ppl in it yupps.(: Ohh..and erm..thx sotong for pei-ing me there yeah.[:

THE END :D

2008-05-30T22:10:00.003+08:00

HEYHO ppl[:

Hahaha. Longgggggggg time no post ler. Rawr. hahaha. But its like everywhere's writing bout level camp and stuff and its like some reflection thingo that everyone do so i decided to skip it cuz ppl can just read them from other blogs. Heeee. aint tt true huh. Hahaha.

So yupps..skip alllllllllll the way to hols. Gahh. Horrible. ><

But training with Superheroes's simply awesome!x33

Hahaha. today did the geog proj thingo with jing mei and ended up taking crazy pics.[:

PICTUREEEES[:

I see sotongsss.[:

Yay. The end[: I earned a lolipop!(:

2008-05-08T21:52:00.007+08:00

Heyho(: hahahaha. okokok. My aim was to keep my blog alive so im trying very very very hard although my lazy brain was like..nononooo dun blog! so mafan de. hahahaha. but nah. Im strong.(:

Lets see. 4th May 2008!<3

hahahaha. Ily keithhhhhh.[aka saby] Lols. damn damn cute luh!(: we promise each other to last long long long. hahahaha. <3 align="justify">

Then mmm...Eds Night!(: it was cool luh. hahaha. Before Eds Night I met jessie, jing mei and laura at plaza sing for dinner.(: aww.supposed to eat ice monster de. But too bad luh. i was awfully broke and there was not enough time. so yeah... Hahaha. ><>

mmm..lets see..wad else..dunno leh. mmm. time for pictures then!(:

me, jingmei,laura,jessie(:

jing mei,me,laura,celeste(:

chan so pretty rite!

me and tingwei!(:

Emo again.(:

Kekeke. The end!(:

2008-05-02T22:22:00.004+08:00

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(:

Today was funnnnnnn. Like duhhhhhh. Went training with hypermates wadddd!<3

hypermates are major love luh!

chantalle is the source of income! we, sabrina, sofina and iris are her body guarddds!(:

lalalalala.

okieeeeeee. Now, kids, lets do some picture talk about...

Yupppppps! BUNNY!(: hmm. lets see. firstly, Who does this bunny resembles?! Jessie! cuz, jessie is a bunny gal!(: hahahahaha. its damn cute luh the bunny!<3>

Now for random picturessss.(: [sorry luh. i boliao mah. hahahaha]

Wonderful science proj. <3

Carebear. lols.

erm..carebear with greentea?

Emo.=(

Lols.(: thats the endddddddd of my post.(:

2008-04-30T21:20:00.006+08:00

Lols. Ok. The emo post before and now the happy happy post!(:

Hahahahaha. Wad luh! I weird cannot mehh!

Lols. hmmm. Dead blog luh. =/

i killed it. so what. murder then murder luh. At least I saved it.

And i updated my blog lerrrrrrr.

So, those ppl who asked me to update in my blog, i did it!(:

yay. And sofinanana. HYPERmates doesnt mean cannot be hyperly emo also rite!

hahahahaha. No rule de k. *smacks head!*(:

And that reminded me of Sabrina! wahhhhhh. smack so many times! Nvm. i will get my revenge de!(:

Yesturday went to Air weapon training. And Chantalle and Saby went too!(: too bad sofina didnt luh.=(

Nvm. hahahaha. Hypermates are really like the sweetest ppl in awc luh!<3>

Ttw, me, laura!(:

Giraffeee drawn by shixun!(:

(:

Superrrman! saby and me!(:

bloodbank. lols.

Class outing(:

Hearts.<3 (Shixun)

Emo path. lols. outside class.

Thats alll!(:

2008-04-30T20:27:00.005+08:00

This post aint gonna be happy. So if u dun like unhappy or emo or whatever shit u call it. Go away now. Dont come complaining to me that my blog too emo or whatever. I didnt ask u to read it.

I hate it. Seriously hate it when im not happy. Its like you look at the world around you with people happily smiling and laughing and all and you just wished you could join in. You stare at their happy faces and look to the mirror and see that sad face looking back at you. Its horrible. But its at least better than faking smiles like me. Its like you're hurting real badly deep in your heart and you still have to fake smiles for people whom maybe you dont actually really give a damn about. Its horrible when all you wanted in your heart was to cry out to someone close to you but you actually just simply faked a smile and said that you're ok. Its horrible when all you wanted was to shout vulgarities at people you really hated or had hurt you but you had to act nice and just smiled it off and walk away pushing everything right down into your heart again. Its horrible when people think that you're great and you know deep in your heart that actually you were acting all the long. Its horrible to see people getting hurt because of what you did which actually you didnt mean it at all and dont know why you actually did it. Its horrible when you have almost no choice but to lie and cover up about what you do just because you dont have the damn pathetic courage to face the music. And all this horrible shit is actually part of my life.

I keep asking whats life about anyway. Dont you people think that its kinda in a dream like thingo. Its like one moment you're crying over something and the next moment you realised that you're actually laughing at yourself for being so stupid last time and wasted so much time whinning and crying over some small matters. Its like there are two different people in yourself like there are two different "me"s. Sometimes you even scold yourself for being so dense in the past. Its weird. Life's weird. I dont understand at all. I wonder to myself many times if what I'm doing now is a waste of time. Would the future "me" be angry with the decisions i make now? What's the purpose in life anyway? Its so stupid. Tsk.

Everytime I see unknown couples holding hands smiling so sweetly and saying lovely stuff. I would just smile to myself. I see people's msn nick talking about love and stuff. I smile again. Why? Cause I know that the result would always be the same. After a few months, their msn nick changed drastically. "I love you forever" ? Forever? you sure? think again. But you cant blame them. Cause love's a complicating thing. When people say they love each other, do they really mean it? First thing first. What's love? Tell me cause I dont know. Tell me cause I thought i knew, but i realised i dont. I find it abit weird for people to stead now and then break like awhile later? And then go emo and stuff. But gosh. Nobody can stop love. [ok wait..this's getting kinda guai lan. lols. stop ler.]

Where are you? I need you and i want you..

2008-04-18T21:09:00.003+08:00

I've been crying for 15 mins already.Just when I was happy for myself for not crying for 5 days straight.I cried.

Why am i so damn weak and sensitive.I shouldnt be. I really gotto change.

And you were the last person whom i once thought who would ever wanted me sad.I was wrong. I always am.I dunno what i want now. Really.I just keep crying. Damn it. i should really stop.

But it hurts in the heart. much worst then physical wounds and cuts.

I hate it.

Calling me and my friends a bunch of huskies? Aint that calling me a bitch? I can read for goodness sake. But i gotto agree with u. im a bitch. But not my friends.

Love's a fucking bitch. I cant believe i got hurt because of love when i didnt even love. Make sense? No. But its a fact.

2008-04-05T23:02:00.012+08:00

lalalala. Im bored.

So since im not emo, i shall make up for my dead blog and post.(:

yay. hahahahahaha.

Went to church just now.(:

glory comes through sufferings; happiness comes through sorrow.

i love you, God.

2008-04-05T13:31:00.010+08:00

Hahahaha. its been a longggggg time since i blogged. >.<
heh hehhs. sorry. Cause I didnt want to put another emo post on my blog.
so i waited till i not that emo till i post.(:

Heh hehhs. Lots of things happened luh. Some good..some bad. yupps.
I suddenly realised that as long as I tried my best, its ok. And whats happening nw's just a story that i would tell to my children in the future. i think. lols.

I find the taiwan ppl really nice. as in..seriously really really really damn nice luh. >.<
lols. yupps. ytd was fun.(: Went to laura's house after her cca with tingwei and her buddy.
fun fun fun. stayed till like 12 then my parents came to fetch me and tingwei with angelica.
dinner was pizza hut with lots and lots of other food. lols. fat fat fat. =/
laura's family is seriously cool luh. hahaha. her parents are like really nice. plus her bro was really sweet. like he knew laura's bringing her frens over and her actually bought snack for us. its the thought that counts.(:
hahahhaa. And really some ppl just makes my life a better thing. <3

ohh yeah..and something else..
To some ppl that i accidentally hurt because of what i done/said..im really really really sorry.
maybe i cant ask for forgiveness but..i really want u to know..that i really dont mean it and im sorry.

Somehow im like getting confused ler. i dunno why..hais. i felt something in my heart again..the same feeling i felt..something i have been trying to avoid for almost 4 months.. cause i think its too painful. but somehow..im not sure if i can push tt feeling down this time. i dunno why. u just keep invading my mind..and i just knew u. im crazy. nvm. i shall try to push it down again. cuz i dont think its possible.

2008-03-16T22:56:00.002+08:00

Stopped suddenly while trying to do homework. Then felt super fucked up.

Whats the meaning to life anyway huh? To chiong homework and be a no lifer?

I just dont understand it. Why bother saying its holiday when you ppl throw tons of hw at us?

Its pure crap i tell you. ALL my maths hw are untouched. You know why? Cuz i know im gonna fail maths. I dont understand a shit about it luh. i look at the paper then *slam the ws down and mutter some vulgar word* im screwed. I know that.

The worst thing is right. You ppl out there say u all haven done hw too. And you know wad happens the next day? Wow. ALL the ws done. yeah right. haven done hw. Kao pei sia. damn the homework. =/ and damn myself for being so brainless that i cant even finish that shit. I have no mood to do hw. And i dont wanna do. And i dont know how to do. nice right. im damn screwed for maths. And soon I know my parents gonna nag and nag again. cuz i know i aint gonna slp early tonight. *dies*

Toodles.

2008-03-13T20:21:00.005+08:00

I suddenly felt something different today. I dunno what. But I knew something was different.
I reflected on what I had done so far in my life. I suddenly realised things that I didnt knew.
I suddenly realised that I used to keep on harping about me not treasuring my primary school life. Then I found out that I'm not treasuring what I have now.

Family
I suddenly realised that all the long although I keep complaining about my parents and my family..I actually know it in my heart that although they seldom make me happy nowadays, although they nag alot and are quite unreasonable at times, they actually sacrificed many things and did alot for me. I found out that I myself is unreasonable. =/
I keep throwing unnecessary tantrums that made u all upset. Although when I know that I would hurt u all at times when I'm like that, I still continued being unreasonable. I comforted myself when I'm upset with how evil I am by thinking of all the negative part of u all; the negative things u did or said to me, pushing every positive side of u people and what you all had done and sacrificed for me to the very end of my mind. Every night I would always stay up late, most of the time making you wait just stoning while sitting on the sofa making sure that I would sleep earlier, and yet I still can bear to let either one of you sacrifice your sleep for me when I'm chatting to my friends at times and not doing my homework.
Although everytime I would complain how much I hated what you had chosen or forced me to do like coming to DHS, joining air rifle or learning piano, I actually like them at times. But being me, I would just not admit it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I seldom appreciated what you all had done for me. Sometimes I would complain about having a brother like mine, but actually sometimes, I cant imagine what my life would be like without a brother like you. I used to keep complaining about how irritating you were to me..but actually..if not for you entertaining me, my life would be boring. Although I dont say it, I dont and would forget what you had done for me. Although you aint there for me when I cry, you didnt mind when I needed your help for my homework when I woke you at 1am and asked you to help me when I went to sleep; even when you needed to wake up at 7am the next day. Thank you. Since young everytime when you hugged me..I would push you away..even when I really wanted and needed that hug. I'm sorry. I dont know why..but maybe I just got used to pushing you away everytime. =x
Although there's only a small chance that you all would see this, but I just wanna say sorry and a thank you for everything that you had done for me.<3

Friends
Thank you to each and everyone of you for everything. Really..some of you people are just super duper awesome that words alone cant describe. For some..although sometimes I would think of the negative stuff about you..I am actually really glad that I know you. For those who are always here for me..when I'm at the bottom of my world to pick me up, I really really appreaciate what you all had done. Although I would seldom admit and say thank you to you people I am actually really grateful. Esspecially those people who would have to bear me throwing my tantrums every week, thank you. Sorry that sometimes I would even throw tantrums at you people..with all the valgur words and stuff..really sorry. And I'm really touched at the fact that despite I do that every week, u people would just forgive me and would even comfort me. Thank you.<3

See..I really felt different today. But its the truth..although at times I say that I hate some people and wouldnt care anymore..they are just words that I would say when I'm pissed off and throwing tantrums. By the next day I would usually feel sorry and forget all about it. >.< Here is a list of people that I would really like to say a very big thank you and sorry to:
- Daddy -Sofina -Iris Lim -Crystabelle -Shu qi
- Mummy -Samantha -Tricia -Ching Yee -Janet
- Brother -Fabian -Deon -Shi Xun -Victoria
- Celeste -Sitong -Gerald -Jared -Natasha
- Laura -Clarabel -Adalric -Clarence -Leon
- Ting wei -Cally -Tiara -Richmond -Shu jun
- Sabrina -Jessie -Kai yun -Zi Yang -Roohi
- Chantalle -Vivian -Grace -Jacob -Nicholas
- Jing Mei -Cky -Sook Wei -Yong Ming -Tabitha
etc..
[not in any rank or order]

Lols. =/ btw. i like my new blogskin.(: hahaha. random. >.<

Oh yeah. I remembered about the class com training. I really had fun talking to Laura, Jing mei and adalric. LOLS. i dont really like the stories though. >.<

And this holiday is really really busy for everyone. Why is it even called a holiday btw? hahaha. Should be activity week or something right. hahaha. bb(:

-

2008-03-03T20:17:00.005+08:00

Hahaha. Hello ppl.(:

zomg. my bloggy keeps dying. whatever. hahaha.

Iris here shall force her tired fingers to revive the blog.(:

I shall make this a happy happy post.

hahahaha. yay.

Today. [3th march 2008]

Had mock 2.4 today. Damn tired luh.

blehhs. Many many sincere thanks to those ppl who cheered me on while i was jogging.

thank you. u guys rock(:

A really special thank you to my dear fren celeste whom i supposed to pace with. She ended up jogging slower for me to let me catch up with her! Really really thank you dear!(:

Assembly was a pure torture luh. I didnt even understand what crap the guy was even saying. I bet dunno how many ppl didnt even listen too. Gahh. Useless and waste time niah. hahaha.

But one thing was awesome during the end of the assembly! Lectra won 2nd for explore! Whoooh. aiseh. Lectra 就是 Lectra. Hahaha. Actually some of us kinda expected it le luh. Cause many of the ppl in Lectra really did put in effort in Explore and worked as a team.(: Yay. Jia you Lectra!(:

Erm..afew days back went out with samantha babe(:

Was really really fun luh! Gahhh. And she's uber uber cute!<33

But right. I feel kinda bad leh. Cause i keep asking her buy this and buy that with me. =/

sorry babe! gahhhh. >.<

And really thank you for following me into bugis street luh. Even when ur leg hurts. Thank you babe!(:

Pictures!

-

2008-02-16T21:58:00.004+08:00

hahaha. wow. my previous post's crazy. lols.
bet u guys wun read it to the end. If u do..hahahaha. time to get dizzyyyy.
wow. and i just realised how much i twit last time. goshhhh. at least im improving nw. no more tuuu. no more ish. no more andd. hahahhaa.

2008-02-15T20:14:00.011+08:00

i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life.
i seriously hate my life. i hate everything part of it. everything. hate hate hate hate hate. i hate myself. i hate my family. i hate school. i hate many ppl. i hate my life. i hate everything.
i simply dont see the point of living luh. whats the point of living luh. i strive so hard to live life. i tried so hard to study. i still die one day. so whats the use? whats the use of working so damn hard when u noe u will die one day. who knows? maybe u will die tmr.

This is pure crap i tell u. Sometimes i really just get so pissed off with life. Sometimes i try so hard to impress the ppl around me. but everytime i try so hard. i fail. i give up. seriously i do. i no longer care about results. i no longer care about what ppl think of me. i no longer care if ppl hate me or whatever. i dont give a fuck. Sometimes i really do study very hard. i try very hard to study. and when i do that i would set a high expectation of the result to be good. but whats the use. study or dont study. also the same bloody results. its useless right. Although sometimes u see me duncare and everything. sometimes i really really try my best to study. but i just fail to do well. i really give up now. i give up trying to keep up with the already high expectation u set for me. u made it sound so easy to meet with all the expections. why dont u try? u want me to do oh so well in studies. the degree honours aint enough for u. u want me to do oh so well in piano. u expect me do play well. u expect me to do well in sports. u want me get a medal back for air riffle. u want me to do everything well. why dont u try. since u think its so easy. u do it. when i come back late for cca, u scold me. when i stay up late to study, u scream at me. when i practise too much of piano, u complain. then how the fuck to u expect me to do everything. im me. im not some genius or super gal out there. and then at times in the middle of the night u catch me sobbing. u lecture me. u expect me to be happy when u are controlling my freaking life and depriving me of my childhood? wow. since young. since i learnt how to talk. i remember how high the expectations were. that time i still can meet with the expectations. i studied so hard for u since young. cause u forced me to. p1 i got first. p2 i got first. then i went to the best class. p5 i still got first. p6 i got 260. sec one. i could no longer take it. u chose this school that i told u i hated. u chose the cca that wasnt on my chosen list. u made me play piano. i hate u. u are the main reason why my life is so miserable. some ppl think that you're oh so nice and caring. but i think not. you're just so selfish. its not like you dont know i hate what u chose. i told u how i felt when i wrote some letter to you. u reply with some crap lines and thats all. ppl ask why i hated going home. why i always hang around but not go home. the reason's u. i will find all the excuses i will say all the lies that i can. but i will never be happy to go home. i hate u.
Maybe if i was a nerd or something my life would have been really much easier.

Im tired of acting everyday. like im really oh so happy and stuff. cause im not. Everytime after being emo, i would try acting happy again. but im always never really happy. In fact..now im having some difficulty comunicating with my friends face to face. i really dont know why. but just this year im like..when i sit with them..i got nothing to say. im getting very depressed over that too. i feel left out. Sometimes i really dont get the joke that u ppl think its funny. I dont know why. But yeah..

I found out that when other ppl finds out that you're sad..its always the same thing. first day:" why u sad for what? tell me luh." second day:" you ok anot? why so emo? crazy ar?" third day:" still emo ar? oh sorry. i busy now. i gtg." Its always the same thing. And i hate it when ppl ask me why im sad. Some ppl are simply so interested in knowing the story why im sad. They probably find it interesting. like a free show maybe. seeing me so emo and sad and crying. But if they are friends, i realise that they would avoid me cause im sad. avoid me like im a disease until i get happy again. those aint true friends. they are just simply finding ppl to make their life happier. Oh yeah. and i realised how much i hate those ppl who only go for looks too. esspecially when they themselves aint even effing gd looking. they critise about other ppl. If you are one of these ppl, why dont you go stare at yourselves in the mirror and start critising yourself. try changing your look, make yourself oh so good looking. then open your oh so golden mouth and then start critising about other ppl. i dont know how u ppl gonna change your look and make yourself look good. erm..maybe tear of ur skin and change it with some angelic looking person? and then maybe cut out your heart and change it too. cause so far all the bitches and bastards i see, although they are gd looking, everytime i see them i feel like puking or punching their bloody faces, cause their character aint nice.

I find writing all this in blog useless. telling about ppl your life. whats the use of it. even if some ppl really cared. they wanna help. even if i tell them why im sad. they cant do anything. so why dont ppl just try cheering sad ppl up instead of demanding for a reason. whats the use of saying you understand how i feel when u're not even me. when you dont even go through what i go through when you dont even feel the pain i feel. because you dont understand..please..dont say you do. And ppl whom i dont really know well and just want to act like you care, please..dont go saying: " oh you so poor thing! awww..i feel sad for you too. u sad i sad." this kind of shit. cause i dont need your sympathy. In fact i feel much worst when u ppl say those stuff. if u ppl just say a simple ok and leave me alone to cry and get over with it. i would feel much better.
But i would like to say a simple thank you to all those ppl who are really so nice to try cheer me up. Sometimes you ppl would really make me smile.(:

Ok. maybe now i should just shut up and stop whining like a small kid. I think this would most likely be the last post on this blog cause i might be doing away with this blog le. Cause i dont see the point of telling other ppl what happened in ur life cause its useless. yeahh? hahaha. so this marks the end of my emo post.

2008-01-20T21:54:00.001+08:00

Hey peeps.(:
hahaha.
yellow's a happy colour huhh. whoots. hahax.
Crazy me. >.<
hmm..saturday had two tuitions..one chinese..one maths. blehhs. My brain was practically fried k. lols. But the maths tuition..i actually managed to do indices. Den after maths i went super highh. Hahax.
but of cuz..how cann iris be highh for a whole day de? it would be kinda a miricle huhh. lols. As expected..my parents spoiled my whole day easily. hahax. They wanted to ahem "celebrate" my bday. ahem. how sincere. When my bday is like kinda long away. Plus they quarrelled in the car on the way there. Guess wadd..they quarrelled about me. How nice rite. Den my dad actually said " Lets not tok about it today. We're supposed to celebrate her bday. lets nt spoil it." When i was already crying. how smart. I hate them. I wish they knew tt. hais. If onli ppl could choose parents..
We went Sakura at downtown to eat. siannz. i dunlike. hahaha. but nvm. super duper full. they keep forcing me to eat. XD i was actually already full after a plate of sushi. yeahh. hahaha.

Today.(:
Went to church. 9.30 mass. Hahax. Went with Saby, natasha, venassa, brian kor andd mark kor. lols. After tt we went for cath class..mmm..ok luhhs. Quite sian. >.<>

Actually had pics to upload de..but lazy me is too lazy to upload.

TAGGS.(:
passerby: LOLS. evil. hahax. ohh..ok.(: i wunn say ur name de luhhs.

Iris sis: Hey sis!!(: hahaha. log time didnt tag me le wor. hahax. obviously i jie luhhs. hahax. i bigger den u norrhhz. heh hehhs. =P neh neh ni poo poo. hahaha. LOL.

Cally ho: HEHEHE.(:

Laura: humph. FPS..humph. nvm!! fps more SLACK. =P

Sitong: 0.o lols. erm..movie? erm..i dunno? lol?

Tags replied.(:

6 more days to bday.(:

2008-01-18T21:15:00.001+08:00

OK OK OK!(: i shall blog. lols. lazy me. >.<
hmm.. lets start with yesturday.
Skool ended at 1.15 which is like early for me since im the kind hu realli realli realli dunlike to go home n rot. So ate lunch with skool with the usual ppl luhhs. Den Celeste and I went back together. We were like complaining bout going home with nth to do andd stuff. Yeahh..den suddenly celeste said she felt like eating ice cream. So I remembered last yr i was actually supposed to go eat mr bean's ice cream with her after the netball interclass de..but didnt. So we decided to go. Went east point to buy ice cream den went walk walk in east point lo. We chatted a real whole lot of stuff. Shared secrets too. >.<>

TODAY.(:
Skool ended at 12.15. Which i practically treated it like a half day. hahax. Ate lunch in skool again before heading to tampines. Went on mrt with shi xun n sook weii..it was realli hillarious. They realli can make me luff luhhs..it was like..since how long I had last luff so heartedly.Thx babes.(: On my way to tampines my old old fren dear dear cally called me. lols. She was like always super highh..[sometimes too highh thoughh. =X] She asked if I could go tm walk walk wit her n her fren. Den i was like hmm..shuld i? I wanted to see her in skool uni..n she her too obviously..so i went lo. She's still like the same old cally as ever. hahax. yupps. pulling me here n there..screaming everywhere..kajiao-ing me always. LOLS. Ohh..den I actually lost her number cuz my retarded hp went for repair n lost everything. So obviously I panicked. called many ppl for her number n walked round tm trying to look for her. Den i keep looking at my back just in case she spotted me n will scream in my ear. N tt was wadd realli happened. I was looking around den she suddenly appeared behind me screaming. My heart almost fail luhhs. lols. den I met one of my kors there..was quite awkward thoughh. >.<
After tt I was supposed to go somewhere near st hildas to meet sherwin. So i n cally took bus there while her fren went home. lols. Yeahh. After tt quite sian le. so nw here i am blogging.(:

Wow..lols. my tag is spammed. =X
but cuz of tt im blogging. lols. [shi xun dear n celeste dar asked me to.]
mayb I shuld reply tags here? save me the trouble. [lazy me]
hahaha.

TAGGS.(:
Celeste: hahaha. Yeahh!! it was!! mmm..i hope ure feeling fine today? r u?

Cloud3z: HARLOS.(: hahaha. mmm? wadd relationship? =X ooo..n u come me bloggy de.(:

Shi xun: YEAHH YEAHH YEAHH. lols. qi ai de..hahaha. I blogged!! see see see. i listen to u lehhs!! wo yao prada bag!!(:

Sitong: LOLS. >.< (: :( =.=lll . farnie luhhs u. dunn emo. =X

passerby(: : I add u le!! but u like nt online de lehhs..i online at nite de. u lehhs? hahaha. ure cute.(: eeyer..lazy come my blog. =C lols.

Taggs replied.(:
[ have a happy day!!(: ]

ohh yeahh..MY BIRTHDAY COMING LE. =X
shushi mummy say.. 1 year older, 1year nearer to death. =X
sob sobs. whyy whyy whyy.about 8 more days to bday. =C
but hope my bday wish come true thoughh.(:

2008-01-11T21:36:00.001+08:00

2008!! whooots.(:
Hehes. finally had the mood to blog. Yay.(:
Its like so dead cuz i didnt had the mood n didnt care. But nw i came to save it once again.(:
hahax. Goshh..its the weekends!! yay!! Weekends makes me go high high highh!! cuz i hate skool to the core. Blehhs. It sucks big big time unfortunately for me. The skool uni sucks too.
nvm nvm. Those doesnt matter to me. i shall still happy and highhh.(:
Im suppose to be doing hw nw..but NVMS.(: im slacking n i love slacking.
Aww mann..im missing air weapons trainings. awww..i thinkk im kinda crazy. but nvm..i still miss them. >.<>
Cat. class still haven start yet. siannnz. wonder if this yr got diff lehhs. hope its more more funn.(: even if it isnt, i will make sure it would be. for me at least. hahaha.

OOOO. its a happy post n my first post of the year.(: im happy. YAY.

2007-12-14T15:26:00.001+08:00

For those who thinkk that im no longer emo, ure wrong. For those who hate me and wann me to be emo, u succeeded. congrats.

Aint tt great? im just freaking emo..i feel that im just like..living in my own freaking world completely shut off with the world. Thats how i bloody feel. yeahh.. cry cry cry.. i cry to make me feel better. I cry cuz my stopid heart just hurts. But the damn thing is tt i cant even cry aloud..i just wanna scream n scream n scream. But i cant. I just keep it in my stopid heart and push it down. Andd tts just fucking stupid.

yeahh..im like tt. Hate me all u wann. I wunn prevent u. Cuz i hate myself more than anyone could hate me. Fcuk. Sometimes..realli..i thinkk i shuld just end my bloody life..end everything. but i cant. andd i wont..unfortunately.

I dunno wadds the hell wrong with me..tears just keep dropping..realli sad..realli painful.. Andd one thing..i dunn self sympathise for goodness sick. I noe i deserve this emoness. Its bloody stupid but..i dun care.

I cried the whole freaking nite..just becuz im sad. u ppl ask me whyy im sad..i ask myself why am i sad.. andd i always cant reply. But the answer is.. becuase there r too many pathatic reasons whyy im freaking sad..andd i cant keep them in my heart so im sad..so i cry. Thats whyy.. I dunn just get sad of one bloody thing. but of many. Andd wadd i hate most is that when im freaking emo..some retarded idiots are just luffing out there enjoying themselves. thats wadd i hate most. Andd i hate ppl hu luffs at other ppl's misery..i wish i could just take a knife and scar their bloody faces and see if they can luff somemore.

I just keep faking a smile on my face..just to let ppl think tt im happy when i go out with them. I hate faking smiles. i hate it. Cuz it would always make me feel worst..i realli wish i can just like..cry my heart out..andd lean on anyone's shoulder for support. But i cant..

My heart is like a donut? with a pathatic hole..which cant patch up. it just hurts. andd somehow im just confused of something..that no one can understand how i feel. im just bloody confused..

Yeahh..im just freaking emo andd bu shuang nw. so wadd? its my prob. so..if u hate me..or hate this post or wadeva crap. just get lost.(: Its tt easy. Cuz im emo..andd its a fact. Please dunn sympathise me..cuz i dunn need ur bloody sympathy. Wadd i need is comfort not sympathy. Freaking shit. im crazy.

2007-12-06T14:15:00.001+08:00

Aww...my bloggy's dying. =X
neber mind..im here to save my bloggy.(:
i shall write bout yesturday since he ask me to do so.(:
But b4 that..i shall thank some ppl first. XD

To: Laura, Ting weii, Janet, Jingying meii, and some other ppl...
Thank youu for being such great frens.(:
Thank youu for ur kind concern.(:
Thank youu for caring bout me andd my safety.(:
andd... Sorry to make youu ppl worried/feel 不自在/etc.
Love youu ppl.(:

5th nov 2007
Went out with Ting weii, Laura,dar, andd his fren Bernard, to bugis.
Before meeting dar dar n his fren..i arrange to meet ting weii and laura at mrt to go bugis together luhhs.
At first actually i was like...erm..quite scared. Yeahh..dunno whyy. =X
Den after meeting them we went bugis to meet andy n his fren lo.
Yeahh..den we went to mac to eat breakfast/lunch.
After which take neos.(: yeahh..just like taking neos bahhs. hahax. =X
Went to watch Enchanted.. which dar's fren actually watched 3 times. lols.
he like very poor thing..vehh quiet andd stuff. yeahh..
After tt dar wanted to buy jeans..while we actually wanted to go tm gai gai.
But tm dun have his jeans..so erm..i, ting weii and laura went walking around bugis while he and bernard went to buy jeans. yeahh.. thanks ting weii and laura for giving in.(:
After tt met up again.. den went KFC to have a snack..just becuz im hungry. sorry guys.. u all like keep giving in to me.. >.<
Dar ate too..so i shared? yeahh.
after tt ting weii and laura wanted to go home. so yeahh.. they left for home lo.
den actually we wanted to go escape to play..but bernard felt sian..so he went home too.
hahax. yeahh..so i andd him took mrt to pasir ris lo.
it was like raining and raining.
Gahh..
so yeahh..went to downtown to slack lo..>.<
At 6plus i got to go home le..so we went back luhhs.
Yeahh..so tts all bout yesturday.(:
i love him.

[note**: not any part of this post am i sacarstic or wadd. though it may sound like im sacarstic but im not.]

2007-11-21T17:31:00.002+08:00

Omigosh..im realli realli dying of boredom. Its shoooooooooooo boring. Gahh. Lets start wit yesturday.

Had piano lesson at 10 plus plus..so i gotta wake up much earlier then usual tuu practise andd do her hw. yeahh..Vehh tired.. After the torture was finally over..i gotta go for air weapon training. Yeahh.. My parents brought me there as i was already late. When i reached there i was the last...the rest already reached.(except for saby as she got something on.Ohh ya..andd another guy too..almost forgot that he was actually in AWC..didnt see him so far for training..andd he has many great reasons for the training. So real. Aww..yeahh..i pity him..andd i bet my AWC mates in yr ones 07 pity him too. :X) Needed to wear the horrible air riffle suit. Gahh..but it helped me alot..by getting all my shots into the black circle..yeahh..but wasnt vehh satisfied though..I shall improve. hais. I brought poker cards along..so while waiting for the others i played taiti, blackjack andd stress wit Chann,Grace,Sofi,Vivian andd jiao lian's sis. Sho funn.(: hahax..We waited till like 7 plus...den went back..andd my mother was like scold scold scold..den finally she grounded me. Wtf. realli..couldnt stand it..wadd did i even do wrong?! Its not my bloody fault that training ended late rite? Couldnt stand her andd her crap andd my stress too..so i just broke down luhhs..likely chann was there tuu comfort me.(: thx chann. yeahh..so met them at simei..suppose tuu have dinner wit them but they already finished theirs..so they were like saying..take so long tuu reach here..i bet u have ur dinner already. WTF!! i didnt!! so wadeva luhhs..bought ice cream for my bro..hu specially requested it..andd bought one for myself too... Likely my bro bought sushi..so i gotto eat something..few pieces onli..still hungry..andd i ate my "dinner" at 10. wow. My horrible day ended.(:

Today..Gahh...was woken up abruptly by my parents..they wanted tuu do chores andd dragged me along wit them..didnt had my breakfast andd was rushed.. Blehhs. Horrible. wasted soooo much time just following them around andd doing nuthing..was obviously pissed off.. Had grastric pain..den told them they just scolded me for not bringing my breakfast along.. Hello? did i even had the time to do so? they just so ridiculous. So here am i..posting..im supposed tuu be doing hw..but no mood as usual..cuz my poor retarded brain cant think of wadd tuu write for my hw at all. Hais..pity me.

2007-11-19T21:21:00.001+08:00

Today is another stopid boring day again. I wasting my life off mann. this's crap.
Had a new tuition cher today..how greats tt huhhs..she came..chinese tuition..she's still ohhkayy luhhs..of cuz..first lesson mahhs..she might be acting nice. I acted too.hahax..i acted like damn freaking guai..smile smile smile..almost like a retard.. yeahh...but first lesson i gib her face luhhs. I even tidied up my messy room. hahax. yeahh.
Tonite suckks like shit..did practically nuthing at all..rotting away at home. no mood tuu do anything..andd wit a irritating bro..gahh..life's cann be like hell. Hais.
Tmr got air weapons training..no mood go luhhs..sho sian.. Ohh crap..i got piano lesson tmr. Shit luhhs..i haben done her hw. Gahh..i hate it. whyy cant i just stop all my tuitions andd lessons. Its my life andd i have absolutely no control of it at all. Heyy w8..mayb i hab..tuu die.(: Good news? hahax. yeahh..thats me..im crazy. Andd these great things happening around me just make it better huhhs. yeahh.

2007-11-18T21:48:00.001+08:00

Gahhs...sho sian luhhs..every weekend if i dunn go out i realli feel tt im wasting them luhhs. wadeva sia. crap..whole day stay at home andd stone. blehhs.
so far cap i did 5 onli..like wtf luhhs..how the hell am i going finish the rest? Great luhhs..so pissed. Cant go out till i finish my hw? yeahh..that the way..keep me the whole hols andd out i go sia. I will rebel. stopid shit. gahh..damn pissed off nw. Andd someone pissing me off too. How great's tt. Andd tuu tt someone - stop acting like u noe the whole bloody thing. stop acting nice. u bloody liar. i hate ppl who does that. u piss the bloody shit out of me. i say wadd i like tuu say..proper english? yeahh..so wadd if ur eng ish perfect andd mine's not? SO WADD. bloody shit.

2007-11-16T15:33:00.001+08:00

1. The person who tagged you ( who ask you to do this quiz)
SABRINA aka SABYY.(:
2. Your relationship with him/her .
Jie andd meii. super uber good fwen
3. Your 5 impressions of him/her.
Nice, Sweet, Cute,Hyper && Lovable
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you
Be my fwen
5. The most memorable words he/she had said.
huhhs? forget le luhhs.
6. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on
nuthing. <3
7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will
Enemy of cuz will hate wadd. but she wun be. (Stopid q)
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be.
nuthing. she wunn be one.
9. The thing you want to do for him/her now
Be a good jie, good cat class fren, good awc partner, good hyper mate
10. Your overall impression of him/her
SUPER, UBER NICE.(:
12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
that im weird? stopid? blur?
13. The character you love of yourself .
None.
14. On the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are being
wow..alot. erm..im a coward,too stopid,too blur,too irrtating..etc etc. [LOL]
15. The most ideal person you want to be .
The real me.
16. For people that care and like you, say something to them
Thank youu.
17. Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you.
1.Celeste
2.Chantalle
3.Halim
4.Iris Lim
5.Jer Luen
6.Jessie
7.Jia Yan
8.Laura
9.Sofina
10.Ting Wei
1] Who is no.6 having relationship with
[Jessie] S: i dunno. Ask her.
2] Is no.9 a male or female
[Sofina] female..duhh
3] If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing
[Jia yan,ting wei] mayb..both sc mahhs
4] How about no.8 and 5
[Laura,jerluen] they dunn even noe each other.
5] What is no.2 studying about
[Chantalle] she dunn like studying andd doesnt nid tuu
6] Where was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
[Halim] a few hours ago? on msn.
7] What kind of music band does no.8 like?
[Laura] dunno..sowwies.
8] Does no.1 has any siblings
[Celeste] Yesh.. (gahh..when will this endd..)
9]Will you woo no.3?
[Halim] he's my kor.
10] How about no.6?
[Jessie] yeahh..maybe
11]Is no.4 single?
[Iris Lim] yesh she is.(:
12] What's the surname of no.5?
[Jer luen] shit..i forgot..chien s: i thinkk
13] What's the name of no.10
Ting wei (stopid q)
14] What's the hobby of no.4?
[iris lim] Soccer i thinkk?
15] Do no.5 and 9 get along well?
[jerluen,sofina] they dunno each other

shall stop here first

**continued**
16] Where is no.2 studying at?
[Chantalle] Dunman high.(:
17] Talk something casually about no 1.
[Celeste] erm..smart andd nice?
18] Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
[Laura] Yeahh..heh hehhs.(:
19] Where does no.9 live at?
[Sofina] pasir ris.
20) What color does no.4 like?

21] Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
[jerluen, celeste] they dun even noe each other.
22] How do you get to know no.2?
[Chantalle] Same pri skool,same sec skool,same Cca,same class.(:
23] Does no.1 have any pet?
[Celeste] ermm...that i dunno. sowwies!
24] Is no.6 the sexiest person in the world?
[Jessie] LOL! Yesh!! Jessie sho sexy mahhs..everyone says tt.<3

******

Yay!! done wit the torture..nw tuu torture ppl.(: heh hehhs. im evil.

2007-11-16T15:23:00.001+08:00

Haben posted for sho long...lols. XD So i shall start posting again bahhs.

Recently there was a mini fun fair at shps. Yupps.. Actually at first parents didnt let me go luhhs...but after alot of persuadtion they gave in. After going tuu the mini fun fair...felt that it was realli a let down luhhs..Sho little games..andd all sho sian de. Met many frens there though..yeahh..but didnt realli tok tuu them cuz i was wit clarabel andd cally..couldnt leave them wadd..mixed wit the last yr 6/9 pupils..yupps..some luhhs..justin andd samuel were jokers luhhs..luff quite a bit. yeahh..nth much.. didnt felt like the same when we were pri..yeahh.
I was in a kinda bad mood too luhhs..den at times quite fustrating during the fun fair. yupps. Things wun ever be the same again..i got tt in my mind long time ago..so didnt felt much.

Gahh...veh bored at home..though go out wit family also sho sian luhhs..singapore sho small..everytime onli can go those few malls..no change. Bored lohh. Im dying of boredom at home. No mood tuu do hw luhhs..sho stupid..everytime sit in front of the com supposed tuu do hw..i always slack instead. yeahh..thats me.(:

2007-11-13T22:07:00.001+08:00

EMO EMO EMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! urgh.. kaes. my current mood ish tt im freaginggg emo. This is so bloody iritating. I just dont understand luhhs. Its my life..so whyy must i listen to other ppl? WHY?! Whyy must i care about other ppl's feelings? when no freaging person actually care about mine? Shit luhhs. And my mother just expect me to rot at home. Really. She expect me to be so guai and just study at home? Whyy cant she be just smarter and think if i even have the bloody mood to even study? Stopid shit. Urghh..sometimes i realli wish that i was all alone. not so fustrating. I dunn even noe whyy im emo luhhs. Am i too tired? Mayb.

Today had air weapons training. Quite ohhkayy luhhs. But alot of ppl didnt come? blehhs..slackk. Hahhax. Today my grouping ish around the bottom luhhs. So blehhs. Ohh ya..andd met my pri skool fren benedict. I was like walking after shooting den suddenly " IRIS SEAH!" Sho loud lahhs..i was like shocked den i turn..cant find anyone i noe wadd. Den i saw him. "Omigosh?" hehhs..my reply. Den his frens andd him were like teasing me tt i look old..dunno wadd crap say wadd i look like univisity student. Shitt luhhs.hahax Neber mind. i still got my revenge back. Cuz its their first time shooting. So yahh..hahax. They were comparing cards den i went there see..andd show them my cards. hahahx..den the second time i used grace de card..cuz she veh pro..den they were like..fine luhh fine luhh. Hahax. Admit defeat.(: yay. Andd im elmo andd wormy's my hyper mate.(: hehhs..saby ish wormy. my new nick for her..cuz she was wiggling.hehhs. so nw cat class i made two cute nick names le. One ish spongey andd the other wormy. Yay!(:

2007-11-10T21:48:00.001+08:00

Went tuu escape today. Am i supposed tuu be happy bout tt? yeahh..i guess so? :S so i shall keep my emoness tuu another time bahhs.

Finally persuaded my mum tuu let me go tuu escape? so yeahh..she fetched me tuu tm andd i meet leah they all. Yupps. Andd spongey didnt go? =C blehhs. alot other ppl also didnt go luhhs..
Later at escape..took veh veh long tuu buy the tickets..yeahh. So saby decided tuu sit down andd pulled me along too. den she was like hypering around?heh hehhs.(: Saby my hyperr mate.

After a long long wait, we finally got in. Heh hehhs. Walk walk walk..then found out viking closed. stopid shit. den den the others went tuu sit inverter den i andd michelle were like nonono. Dunn blame me..i got a phobia of heights luhhs.. I andd saby screamed on almost ride. We were like looking at each other den say " Scream ar" lawlls..den when nicole andd natasha said we were crazy, den i andd saby said tt it was our awc spirit. hehes. nicole andd natasha r sho farnie luhhs can.(: Ohh ya.. andd andd while they were siting inverter me, michelle andd clarissa went tuu wet andd wild..den odd number sho bo bian went tuu ask leah's boy-fren. yeahh..den i bo bian nid tuu sit wit him. So i sat behind andd he sat in front..andd when going down the slope he went tuu bend down andd i was soaked from top tuu toe..WOW. Den he turned behind andd luff..andd he was DRY..urgh.. Got off the ride den realised the others were still queuing for the ride..so i took a second ride. Andd i was like telling leah tuu help me revenge. Leah ish nice.(: Hahax. Yupps..after a few more rides den went for lunch?

Lunch at macs.(: michelle lent me andd clarissa money for lunch.(: cuz we left our things in the locker..nt because we r poor. Den we three bought too much food till we cant finish. >.<>

After lunch we went back in tuu play more rides lo. Den saw sookie,jialat andd adal wit their npcc frens i think. hehhs.(: Den we went into the hauted house wit the guys in front andd the gals behind? yeahh..knew the guys sure scare us one..andd they did. This time hauted house nt funn le..nt like last time got the ghost chasing us around? blehhs..escape deproved alot. After hauted the rest went tuu take inverter again? urgh.. but just ate lunch so afew ppl didnt sit too. hehes..follo me.(: saby wanted tuu take wet n wild again andd i wanted tuu..so nat followed. Den odd number again..michelle n clarissa didnt wann tuu take..neither did leah n her bf..so left jordaan. hehh hehhs..den he say he go if onli he sit in front..den im like..kayy lo. Den i started planning liao..told saby the plan too.The stopid queue sho long..queue halfway den adam came. Urgh..plan spoiled..so i told them the plan..actually wanted tuu bluff tt jordaan sitting wit me..den halfway i back out den natasha gotto sit wit him. Den when told jordaan he was like looking at me saying "aww" andd gave his gay look. Jordaan ish gay. wasted the plan didnt work luhhs..blehhs. Andd tt zach was like emphasizing tt i haven taken the inverter?blehhs.

Den went tuu take go-cart. sho yay luhhs..den i overtake 3 ppl..den the other guys say wadd i stopped at the slope? erm..which i didnt? wasnt me luhhs..i didnt even stepped on the brake..i was like still stepping on the gas pedal? hehhs.XD After a while went back home le lo. Was sho sho tired. Dunno whyy but dis time escape nt tt funn tuu me liao..dunno whyy. Is it the ppl i go wit? cant be wadd. Heh hehhs.

2007-11-07T20:16:00.001+08:00

Lalala. Kkaes..i shall start posting.. I dunn wan my bloggy tuu die..nonono. That wun happen.(:
Now...backtrack tuu...when arhhz...mmm..ohh ya. My holidays.
My holidays
Dayy1
I was like wow luhhs.. Cuz my family join tour grp..den my bro working in the airport so he went tuu check if got any teenagers anot. check check check..den tell me onli got two miss..which means..veh few or mayb none. When i first saw my tour grp i was like...GOSH!! no teenagers at all..except me andd my bro? i was like..i wann go home.. urgh. Guess wadd..im thirteen going on fourteen andd im actually the youngest there?So...everyone reguarded me as the "xiao meii meii" there..or the little ger ger. =.= After getting off the airport in vietniam..the tour grp went for lunch..at a restaurant? && the food was like ewwww. Wadd made it worst was the toilet..sho sho dirttyy. So i lost my appetite..andd almost didnt eat at all?

Dayy 2
Wake uber early..den go see some mountains..andd had tuu climb two mountains..one tuu see others mountains..another tuu see a cave.Wow. Sho interesting rite. urgh.. den evening had a boat ride? nono..its a cruise. && I like the ride..sho nice. though quite boring..but i enjoyed the quietness. The cruise got two levels..one sheltered..another open air.. Cuz the rest of the ppl scared of the cold breeze..so i had my own nice time up at the second level. Then at nite le..the most cool thing ish when i look up into the sky..it was filled wit stars..i was like..wow.. so i sort of lied down on the bench andd stared at the sky.

Dayy 3
bus ride for 7 whole hours the whole day..just tuu reach china andd the hotel there. I was like wtf luhhs..den i was like telling my mother how smart she was tuu pay thousands of dollars just tuu see big blocks of stones[mountains] andd tuu sit on a bus the whole day. I was seriously bloody pissed off then luhhs. Andd the toilet breaks between the bus ride was the most horrible thing ever. The toilets were super super dirtty andd the worst thing ish...there was no toilet door! Andd the stopid tour guide said if we dunn go tuu the toilet..there wun be one till 2 andd half hours later..leaving me no other choice..but tuu use tt horrible toilet.
EWW.

Dayy4
I was realli getting sho pissed off wit the whole holiday..it wasnt even a holiday luhhs..it was a torture tuu me. Urgh. Another thing which pissed me badly was..the auntie andd uncles or ahh ma andd ahh pei in the tour grp was like teasing me andd stuff. Den they were like asking if i enjoyed the trip so far andd etc etc..wadd a stopid obvious question. With so little bloody time tuu slp andd no one tuu play with..it would be a miricle for me tuu enjoy luhhs. && they kept emphasizing tt i couldnt shop andd the stopid doorless toilet..though onli veh few but one doorless toilet was already too much for me luhhs. They were making crappy jokes tt they tot was veh farnie..saying tt the doorless toilet was one of the tourist attraction tt couldnt be found in singapore..andd they started luffing like shit. BLEHHS.

Dayy 5 && 6
The stopid tour guide asked a stopid question everyday b4 setting off..cuz the tour changes hotels everyday..she would always ask if we remembered tuu bring our belongings andd etc..she always ask if the olddies brought their wig along andd their 假牙/dentures..den the whole bus would luff..even when she say tt everyday. This two days were as horrible as the rest.. but something made it worst..it was tt although i seen big big shopping centres passing by..i couldnt shop. blehhs..cuz there were no time at all.

Dayy 7
This nite was damn damn nice. I was like shopping like crazy. The things there were sho cute n nice n cheap. Hehes. I bought quite a few soft toys..key chains..watches etc etc. Muhaha.sho happy..den tt nite i suddenly like my trip le..andd i tot it was quite funn. Hahax..see how shopping changes my mood.

Dayy 8
Even more shopping!! Though different place.. My mum ish like pro in bargaining luhhs..the jacket my bro wanted tuu buy was actually said tuu be 160 rmb [bout $28 sing] den she manage tuu bargain til 80rmb [$14 sing]. Lawlls..it was funn luhhs.. den when reach 100 rmb..the shop owner pretend dunn wan sell le. Then my mum start walking out of the shop..den i,my bro n dad..follo..den our faces like dunwan buy le. hahax..in the end the shop owner came tuu chase us back and lower the price tuu 80rmb..my family always use this same trick. Cuz it always works.(: yup yupps. Needed tuu buy a new luguage tuu stuff the things i andd my bro bought. XD im scary

Dayy 9
Time tuu go home.(: =C hahax..dunno whether happy or sad mahhs..both mayb? Lawlls.. After reaching Singapore..weather change..sho hot. Then..time tuu reply all the smses..waa..some ppl understand..some ppl scold..blehhs. Then Mrs koh suddenly sms saying tuu go for the rehearsal the nxt day at suntec at 8. Andd...there goes my rest. hais..luckily laura, my saviour could fetch me from kembangan tuu suntec.(:

Nov 5
Went tuu suntec early cuz i didnt noe the dance?tuu learn from deon laura shi xun andd adalric luhhs. learn learn learn..noe the dance le i almost puked..den i andd chann were like luff luff luff. After tt went tuu walk walk at marina square wit shi xun andd chantalle. It was sho sho farnie luhhs. Wasted laura gtg for training.

Nov 6
The stopid dance thingy..urgh. Luckily Laura saved me again.(: After the thingy ended,me..laura..shi xun..andd chann went tuu vote..vote vote vote.hehes..vote over 200 plus plus plus. Den we kena chased away by some realli nasty ppl. They go bully small ger gers. =C evill..hehes. After tt went tuu marina for lunch again. This time was Long John Silvers. lawlls. Andd this time laura followed. Mrs kohh gave $4 each for lunch..blehhs. tot $8..hehes.im greedy. XD After lunch we go walk walk.. supposed tuu eat ice cream at HaagenDazs or mac de..den neber.=C den den den..went tuu kiddy palace.(: Yay..sho yay..sho funn luhhs..saw a cuteeee eeyore. Gosh..i so wanted it..but..nahhs. Resist. hahas. den i andd laura went walking around kiddy palace..den i was like sitting on a sofa..nice nice one..den said.."Yay..im a little princess." lawlls..den laura sat too andd said "Yay me too."
aww..wanted tuu take a pic but too lazy.hehes. After tt laura andd shixun went back home while i andd chann went for training. Wheee..training ish uber love. hehes..&& i gotto use riffle!! Yay..love riffle sho sho much. Shooting was quite ohhkayy...after nt shooting for like..erm..2 mths? yup yupps. den made a farnie joke bout richmond catching a bird..etc etc.nono..he caught a flying bird. Lawlls..though he didnt hear the joke.(: Yupps..tts all..i was hyper the whole day..andd when i reached home..no more energy le.tired tired tired.hahax.

Yay!!my bloggy's nt dead any more.(:(:(: heh hehs.

2007-10-28T19:20:00.001+08:00

now on a holiday. Lol. nothing to say. i'm helping iris. really nothing to say. sorry iris $:

2007-10-24T21:12:00.000+08:00

Aiya.. as usual neber post yesturday again.
23oct
ohhkayy... i skipped skool!!hahax..nt veh funn lohhs..but my mother persuaded me..so kayy lohh. Anywaes i also got doctor appointment..so rest at home lo. got mc de kaes..im unfit for duty.
Went out tuu celebrate my bro's bday earlier..cuz if nt go holiday le mahhs. Went tuu eat buffet. Guess wadd..the whole buffet i onli nibble the cooked food..den the rest ish...ICE CREAM.(: I tried all the flavours available.muhaha..den later i no mood eat le.so like tt lo...waste money.. but haha..i enjoyed.So?
anywaes nt my bday also wadd.. i already "bought" my bro's bday gift.. a pair of slippers. I onli suggested that i was going tuu buy tt for him..andd den he went tuu bought it himself andd claim the money from me. blehhs..he purposely wann spend sho much..$30.. im broke u noe..hais.
Todayy
yay..todayy ish another day filled wit laughter luhhs. Sho funn. At first the outing tuu the pottery thingy was onli erm.. quite ohhkayy luhhs. my rabbit ish ppl help me de. Den my hands got all dirty..eww luhhs.my nails..sobs. Neber minds..its the same for others too. Luckily mine got back tuu white. Yay.
Later go back tuu skool tuu find out tt air riffle bo range le. Sho cancelled. Ish it a blessing in disguise? Maybe..den later for the dunno wadd dance thingy.. some weird weird guy came..den say nt today. Wadeva.
So went tuu play lo. I wanted tuu play volleyball again..but Chann andd some of the rest wanted bball. But again..they graciously gave way tuu me.XD [selfish me.] So at first the vballers were playing..den dunno how become vballer vs non-vballer..so wadd tuu do again?Tyco playy again lo. hahax. Later some guys came tuu play wit us..deon,adalric,da weii andd nigel. They keep saying "aiya..dont bully them lahhs." den in the end also bully. Ting weii said they spike too hard. quite true at times. Andd its unfair too...cuz tt nigel turn out tuu be a vballer since pri skool. urgh..kena owned luhhs. Later they go for track den got yr 2 seniors play wit us. See..sho many ppl tuu play wit rite.muhaha. I luff like siao luhhs..when i play. Cuz realli veh farnie mahhs..hahax. && i broke more blood vessels todayy.ahhhs...pain pain pain.Waa..i think i realli nid a vballer tuu train me le luhhs. I wann tuu learn it properly sia.
After everything.. went shopping. Waaa..tiring lehhs..try clothes till tired le.blehhs.
ohhkayy..finally write finish le..wit the two veh active ppl toking on msn plus some other frens..veh hard tuu complete.no offence horrs..pls pls dunn be angry wit me.im most scared of ppl getting angry wit me.mayb i paranoid luhhs.lawlls.

2007-10-22T20:57:00.000+08:00

Hahax neber post yesturday...too lazy u see. hahax.

21 oct
Went tuu church..cat class quite sian luhhs..nth tuu do.hahax.wun be going for the nxt two weeks..blehhs. going holiday..hahax..sho i convince leah..hu ish in charge of my class..tuu make all the outings after the two weeks. Too badd..im selfish. tuu add more..i told her tuu make the class more boring.sho tt i wunn feel sho badd.muhaha.im evilll. Den after tt went shopping wit my mother for a while den go home.did nth much again.sho..tt goes my precious sunday andd weekend. hais..shuld hab went out luhhs.but the ppl hu jio me out..nt realli funn..sho i changed my mind.hais..cann like if any of my good frens see dis come jio me out?lawlls.its realli realli boring at home.

Todayy
todayy had skipping andd hip hop dance. skipping ish a pure waste of time luhhs..n the duckkie voice instructer..wahh sehh..cant stand luhhs. luckily she's nt teaching hip hop..if nt arhhz..cant imagine.blehhs.
Nxt up..hip hop dance.woots. Damn funn luhhs..mayb tuu some it aint cool or funn.but must participate mahhs..if u stand there say.."i cant do i cant do..sho lame lahhs.wadd crap ish dis..waste time." obviously nt funn luhhs. Aint it common sense? Lame shit. hahax.
After tt i was actually supposed tuu play bball wit Ting Weii,Jessie && Shi Xun. Den i wanted tuu play vball instead..so of cuz they being nice ppl would give in tuu me luhhs.Thank youu!! (see how selfish.) While playing..Shanisca, Jia Yan, Yu Zhen andd Elizabeth came tuu join us.4 vs 4. Andd Shanisca ish a vballer..sho how? tyco playy luhhs. Jia yan was sho farnie making weird noises andd singing weird stuff..making all of us luff & luff..in the end the court of filled wit our nonsense.Den got something happen..sho sha,eli andd yu zhen went off for a while. So me n jia yan vs shi xun,ting weii andd jessie.2 vs 3.hahax. den i hit hit hit the vball..till my hand all red.cuz jia yan was off wit her nonsense screaming andd singing..sho left me tuu hit lo.but of cuz..she got do her speciality spike[must hab sound effect && wind blow first]..andd some times help me kai qiu[start ball]. After playing vball wit them..i realised tt my hand wasnt red anymore..but there were small small red red spots on my hands..shanisca den said it was the blood vessels which broke..vball tain tuu like tt de. I hear le of cuz quite freak out luhhs..blood vessels break.lawlls.
Tmr going for doctor's appointment at changi hospital..sho would nt be going skool bahhs.of cuz its and excuse also luhhs.appointment cant be sho long de.hahax.XD

2007-10-20T15:41:00.000+08:00

alrighttt. i shall stop being sho lazy le.. i shall start post. && becuase i neber post for 3days i shall make up for it.

18 oct
LA andd chinese results.. hais. screwed as usual lahhs..for LA i failed the compre part. luckily in the end LA still get A for eoys. Chinese..even worst. hahax..but i expected it too lahhs.. i tot i would fail. && worst ish.. the overall i calculate..i miss A by like one pathetic mark? urgh..

19 oct
Xperience.. quite sian luhhs. lost quite a few games. the second game was the worst lahhs.. kena blindfolded. tts nt the point.. the point ish tt it hurts. the stopid specs wit rafia string n transparency ish damn painful n i can see through it. nxt up..one handed captains ball. if it was wit my right hand..i would love it. but it wasnt. it was supposed tuu be played wit ur non master hand. 成信勇忠.. wadd crap. den after tt facil ask us wadd we learnt though this game. && i got an answer - 成信勇忠..不重要. den its the wheelchair game!! my first time playing on a wheelchair. sho funn sho funn. but..my pinky got caught in the wheelchair there halfway during the game..andd nw it hurts. blehhs. den got Xplosion. the grp(laura,jessie,ttw,ching yee & me) hu joined sho farnie luhhs. we wun realli concentrating during the game.hahax.. they came up wit duck dance. sho cool luhhs. hahax. in the end we got third for Xplosion..thx tuu yuan xiang hu was pro at throwing the huge dice. overall quite funn also luhhs.

todayy
quite sian..at home do almost nth. urgh..later going out for dinner andd tts all. there goes my precious saturday. hais. blehhs. tts all..

2007-10-17T20:17:00.000+08:00

Omigosh..i think i just kinda screwed up for eoy?some bahhs.hahax..ohh ya..too lazy tuu post yesturday.shall post nw..
Lectra got third for interclass..still ohhkayy luhhs.hahax..got one cina ger ger siao about soya bean milk..pour here pour there after tt hand dirty den wipe here wipe there.n she was actually playing on the match?i tot ppl like her would be like..erm..left out?got ppl say she cute?!can puke.somemore say tuu laura wadd..waa..hao re wor..wo yao yi ge shan zi(waa..sho hot wor..i need a fan.ps..not electronic de.)neber mind luhhs..cant blame her..hu ask her tuu cina tuu even noe air con.stoopid shit luhhs.hahax.neber minds..lectra played well for interclass lahhs.maybe its me hu screwed up again onli lahhs.im always screwing up things. anywaes..after tt match wit 1K wahseh..seriously fun luhhs.. n the reason ish obvious.1K n 1L r both nice n frenly ppl.hahax..played wit shu jun again..sho funn lahhs.i miss those times when we always trained together during netball trainings..hais..its all over nw.Then after 1K match..we were about tuu gooh home..den got match wit senior netballers hu r yr5?i andd laura join luhhs..obviously..cuz we were long long wanting a match wit them le lohhs.Again got tuu play wit another netballer from shps..li xin.andd i think the team hu played against the seniors mostly ex netballers bahhs.sho fun.but we still lost..8-7. sho close lahhs can..age plays a part ohhkayy..13 playing wit 17..=.=
Now for today..Laura ish a silent genius..seriously lahhs..she's sho sho smart!gosh..everything all sho high high high!maths 90plusplusplus.gosh.shooo smart. unlike me..lawlls..hu screwed up almost everything?hais..hu cares man.lawlls. screwedscrewedscrewed.

2007-10-15T18:43:00.000+08:00

by trying tuu prevent my day tuu be bad..i made it worst.does it make sense?nope.rite..this sucks.wadeva.today was kinda screwed up lahhs.urgh..damn fustrating lahhs.just when i wanted tuu scream n let go my emoness at escape..it was closed.how great ish dat?hahax.great..u noe wadd..nw im tt emo tt i cant even cry!wow.hahax.my blog ish filled wit emo posts.lawlls..neber minds.im always like tt.too bad for me.my luck..hais.screwed screwed screwed.WADEVA.fcuk.

2007-10-14T17:00:00.000+08:00

Today was quite boring..other den going tuu church went out tuu shopping.as usual..quarrel wit my mother again..dun understand whyy she just cant gimme a break lahhs.urgh..its just sho fustrating. now im scared bout tuesday..hahax.netball interclass.neber mind luhhs..lectra ish stong..so shuld be able tuu make it bahhs.anywaes..bout the interclass thingy..i gotta apologise tuu some ppl hu aint realli happy bout wadd i did luhhs.sowwies.hope the interclass would bond the class instead of making us further apart lohhs.kkaes..my mother rushing me as usual..AGAIN.lawlls.wadeva

2007-10-13T23:01:00.000+08:00

EOYs r finally over..muhaha..hais..but somehow im just nt happy..nt at all.im just tt emo luhhs..i dun hab any reason for tt..but im waiting for a saviour hu can cheer me up..so far none.lawlls.wadeva..sometimes i just feel tt life ish useless.